We’ve moved out of New York City! My home for more than 40 years! I haven’t been on my site, on Twitter or FB for almost two weeks. I never understood why moving was always on the top of any ‘most-stressful-life-events’ list, along with major illness, death of a loved one, loss of a job and divorce. Now I know why.
But we’re beginning to settle down and into our new place in the country. What has kept coming to my mind as we planned and executed this huge change in our lives and what has helped me move through all the upsets, fears, challenges and difficulties is the concept of transitions, and knowing that in order to have a new beginning, there must first be an ending.
So this month’s quotes are all from a favorite book of mine: Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges. Of course, I cannot find my copy of the book amongst all the still unpacked boxes of books, but luckily I wrote some of them down when I first read this last year. And even if you’re not going through a major transition right now, you certainly will at some point in your life. I highly recommend you read this book.
Every transition begins with an ending.
Although it is advantageous to understand your own style of endings, some part of you will resist that understanding as though your life depended on it.
First there is an ending, then a beginning, and an important empty or fallow time in between.
… transition is the way to personal development.
… getting unplugged from your old place in the interpersonal and social world that gave you an identity is where the transition process starts.
… disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition. … the disenchanted person moves on, but the disillusioned person stops and goes through the play again with new actors.
Disorientation… meaningful but not enjoyable. Before we can find a new something, we must deal with a time of nothingness.
Transitions start with letting go of what no longer fits or is adequate to the life stage you are in… whatever it is, it is internal… it is the internal things that really hold us to the past.
Endings begin with something going wrong… endings are the first, not the last, act of the play.
The first of the neutral zone activities or functions is surrender—one must give in to the emptiness and stop struggling to escape it. … the process of transformation is essentially a death and rebirth … the process of disintegration and reintegration is the source of renewal … zone provides perspective on the stages…
Think of what would be unlived in your life if it ended today.
The neutral zone is a time when the real business of transition takes place.
New Beginnings … It is important to understand what it is within us that undermines our resolve and casts doubt on our plans.
Genuine beginnings begin within us, even when they are brought to our attention by external opportunities.